1 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:38,700 - Ah, good evening. - Good evening. 2 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:42,633 I see that the meaning of the word punctuality 3 00:00:42,733 --> 00:00:46,967 hasn't yet sunk in with certain members of our class. 4 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:50,000 You see, Max? 5 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,633 I thought we would be here before professori. 6 00:00:51,733 --> 00:00:53,333 Better sit down before he comes. 7 00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:55,133 Okey dokey. 8 00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:57,200 Good evening. 9 00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:00,533 How did you get in, through the window? 10 00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:01,667 You're late. 11 00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:03,567 Too busy drinking in the pub to notice the time? 12 00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:07,567 Well, we've not been in the pub, haven't we, Max? 13 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,200 Sure, we haven't. 14 00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:10,467 Look. 15 00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:12,300 We were coming to the school, and we see this old lady 16 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,133 trying to cross the road. - That's right. 17 00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,000 She was very old. - And very blind. 18 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,333 Yeah, pushing a pram. 19 00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:23,100 An old, blind lady, pushing a pram? 20 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,533 Well, maybe she wasn't exactly blind. 21 00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:28,433 Maybe she wasn't exactly there, either. 22 00:01:28,533 --> 00:01:31,133 Sure, it's true. 23 00:01:31,233 --> 00:01:34,933 On Max's life, we have not been in the pub, honest. 24 00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:37,267 All right. 25 00:01:37,367 --> 00:01:40,267 Hey, you left your books in the pub. 26 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,167 What's the matter? 27 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:47,367 Look behind you. 28 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,567 Not been in the pub, eh? 29 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:54,700 Now I remember. 30 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,600 We were there, just for a minute. 31 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:57,533 Come on. 32 00:01:57,633 --> 00:01:58,733 Sit down, all of you. 33 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:01,967 Hey, why you not tell me the teacher's behind me, 34 00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:03,300 you Italian macaroni? 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:08,100 Why, you-- you lump of Spanish omelette. 36 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,000 All right, come on. 37 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:09,967 Sit down and be quiet. 38 00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:10,933 Yeah, teacher is right. 39 00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:12,100 You, sit down. Sit down. 40 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,533 Be quiet. Go on. 41 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,667 Sit down. Go. 42 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:15,633 Sit down. Sit down. 43 00:02:15,733 --> 00:02:17,667 Yeah, Juan, that includes you. 44 00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:18,600 Por favor? 45 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,000 You heard. 46 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,300 Sit down. 47 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,900 I'm getting rather tired of this continual habit 48 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,333 of certain people being late. 49 00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:26,400 Now 7:30 is the time class commences, 50 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,067 and you should all be sitting at your desks, 51 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,100 ready to begin work. 52 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,633 Now I shan't tell you again. 53 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,333 In the future, anybody who comes late will go straight home. 54 00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:36,567 Good evening, everybody. 55 00:02:36,667 --> 00:02:37,800 You're late. 56 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:38,933 Late? 57 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,400 Oh, no, look, please. 58 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,500 I am being early. 59 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,967 It is only 20 minutes past the 7 o'clock. 60 00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:46,800 Correction, it is 25 minutes to the 8:00. 61 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,333 That clock is not being right at all. 62 00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:52,933 Ah, and I suppose my watch is not being right also? 63 00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:54,400 Yes, please. 64 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,867 Has it occurred to you that it might 65 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,333 be your watch that is wrong? 66 00:02:57,433 --> 00:03:00,700 Oh, blimey, this watch is guaranteed never to be wrong. 67 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,200 It is 21 Julies. 68 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,400 Jewels. 69 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:09,367 Yes, please, I am buying it today from the marketplace. 70 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:11,867 You bought that watch from a stall in the market? 71 00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:14,100 Most definitely, the man is telling me 72 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,200 it is jolly good bargain, 21 Julies 73 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,267 and real gold case, 18 turnips. 74 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,733 18 karats. 75 00:03:24,833 --> 00:03:27,700 Sorry, please. 76 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,167 Well, how much did you pay for this 21-jewel, 77 00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:31,833 18-karat gold timepiece? 78 00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:35,267 Uh, 2 pound 50 pence. 79 00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:38,133 I think he saw you coming, Ali. 80 00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:40,400 Ah, most definitely, he was seeing me 81 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:43,067 coming before I was seeing him. 82 00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:44,767 What I mean is you were swindled. 83 00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:46,067 Oh, no. 84 00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:47,900 Well, you can't buy a watch for 2 pounds 50. 85 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,467 Ah, but the man is telling me it is being so cheap because it 86 00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:53,833 is bankruptured stock. 87 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:57,767 Rupted, it's not going, Ali. 88 00:03:57,867 --> 00:04:00,333 Uh, perhaps it needs a wind up? 89 00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:01,833 Well, there's nothing to wind up. 90 00:04:01,933 --> 00:04:02,767 Look. 91 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,700 It's empty. 92 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,967 Oh, blimey, I am being cheated. 93 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:07,967 Excuse me, please. 94 00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:09,133 I go to find the crooked man. 95 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:10,600 He won't be there now, Ali. 96 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,033 And what about my money? 97 00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:13,333 Well, you'll just have to put it down to experience. 98 00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:15,200 Now sit down. We've got a lot of work to do. 99 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,000 How are you coming along? 100 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:22,467 Have you learned any more English? 101 00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:25,700 More English? 102 00:04:29,433 --> 00:04:32,600 Yes, uh, bloody foreigners. 103 00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:38,267 Yes, well, that's a start. 104 00:04:38,367 --> 00:04:42,100 You'll just have to follow the lesson as best you can, yeah? 105 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,900 And I'll explain later. 106 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,467 Do you understand? 107 00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:47,233 Well, never mind. 108 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,933 Sit down and do your best. 109 00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:50,600 Right, now tonight, we're going to look 110 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,167 at sentence construction. 111 00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:55,000 Now can anybody give me a definition of a sentence, 112 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:56,767 please? - Me, please. 113 00:04:56,867 --> 00:04:58,333 Yes, Su Lee. 114 00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,567 A sentence is a group of words that makes complete sentence. 115 00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:02,767 Very good. 116 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,033 For example, communism if only true way of life. 117 00:05:05,133 --> 00:05:06,433 Thank you. 118 00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:08,267 Or capitalists are enemies of peace-loving people. 119 00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:09,567 Or China will one day rule the world. 120 00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:11,333 Yeah, I think you've made your point, Su Lee. 121 00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:12,600 Good, thank you. 122 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:14,967 Right, now a sentence contains eight parts of speech. 123 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,133 Can anybody tell me what they are? 124 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,800 Come along. - Nouns. 125 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:18,867 Good, excellent. 126 00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:20,467 - Pronouns. - Very good. 127 00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:21,567 Hey. 128 00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:23,833 Why am I very good, and she is excellente? 129 00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:26,100 Well, all right, you're both excellent. 130 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,033 Fine, anybody else? 131 00:05:27,133 --> 00:05:28,733 - A verb. - Good. 132 00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:30,000 - Adverb. - Well done. 133 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:30,967 Adjective. 134 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:31,900 Yes? 135 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,200 Prepositiono. 136 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,133 Goodo, uh, good, yeah. 137 00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:36,133 Conjunction. 138 00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:37,467 Well done, and one more. 139 00:05:37,567 --> 00:05:38,567 Come on. 140 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,133 Doesn't anyone know what the other one is? 141 00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:42,667 An interjection, can anybody tell me 142 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:43,633 what an interjection is? 143 00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:44,933 Si, senor. 144 00:05:45,033 --> 00:05:45,867 Yes, Juan? 145 00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:46,767 Needle. 146 00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,733 Si, like, uh, doctor. 147 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:53,667 Bang. 148 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,833 Interjection. 149 00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:00,067 No, Juan, that's an injection. 150 00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:01,367 Ah, it's all right. 151 00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:04,333 An interjection is a word put into a sentence 152 00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:06,767 to express some emotion, such as oh, ah, or hush. 153 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,400 Right, we will now construct a sentence starting with a noun. 154 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,900 Ranjeet, can you give us a noun, please? 155 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,967 - Idiot. - Idiot? 156 00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,667 Surely, you could have thought of something else. 157 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:20,133 I could have said Muslim. 158 00:06:20,233 --> 00:06:22,633 Don't you be insulting me, you.. 159 00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:23,867 All right, that'll do. 160 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,500 Ranjeet, you are here to learn English. 161 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,100 Now kindly keep your personal prejudices to yourself. 162 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,333 A thousand apologies. 163 00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,533 All right, now give me a noun, please. 164 00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:32,467 A waiter. 165 00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,967 A waiter, good. 166 00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:37,900 Now, Max, an adjective. 167 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,367 Come along. 168 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:40,200 Look. 169 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,400 Ranjeet gave us a noun, waiter. 170 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,233 You describe him. 171 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,567 Is he old, tall, short, thin? 172 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:46,567 Well, how do I know? 173 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:47,467 I never met him. 174 00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:53,600 We're not talking about an actual waiter, Max. 175 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:57,100 Ah, he's a part-time waiter. 176 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,433 We are trying to construct a sentence. 177 00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:01,300 Ranjeet has given us a noun, waiter. 178 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,800 I want you to give me an adjective that describes him. 179 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,867 OK, a hold waiter. 180 00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:09,400 An old waiter. 181 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,733 With a mustache. 182 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:13,933 Just old will do. 183 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,433 OK. 184 00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:19,267 Right, we'll put a definite article in, the old waiter. 185 00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:21,367 Now we need a verb, something he was doing. 186 00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:22,100 Danielle? 187 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,567 Ooh, making love. 188 00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,767 Can't you think of-- think of something better 189 00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,200 that he could have been doing? 190 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:31,533 But I can't see nothing than better than making love. 191 00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:33,133 Yes, but something more appropriate 192 00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,900 to a waiter in a restaurant. 193 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,367 He served. 194 00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:42,933 Served, good, the old waiter served. 195 00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:44,833 Now we need an adverb. 196 00:07:44,933 --> 00:07:45,733 Taro. 197 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,533 Ah, so. 198 00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:52,767 Yeah, an adverb, please, modifying the verb, served. 199 00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:54,133 Carefully-o. 200 00:07:54,233 --> 00:08:01,333 Carefully-o, uh, carefully, he served carefully. 201 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:04,233 Right, now can anybody add anything to that? 202 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:12,933 The old waiter carefully served fish and chips. 203 00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:15,800 Two more nouns and a conjunction. 204 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:18,167 Okey cokey. 205 00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:21,867 The old waiter carefully served two 206 00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:26,267 more nouns and a conjunction. 207 00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:29,067 You were right first time, Giovanni. 208 00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:30,000 Mr. Brown. 209 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,500 Yes, Sid, what is it? 210 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,633 Uh, there-- there's a geezer out here wants to see Ms. 211 00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:33,800 Courtney. 212 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:34,900 Well, what's that got to do with me? 213 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,200 Well, I can't find her anywhere. 214 00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,500 Will you come out and have a word with him? 215 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,767 Oh, yes, all right, now I want you to complete 216 00:08:38,867 --> 00:08:40,000 the sentence using an interjection, 217 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,467 a preposition, and a pronoun. 218 00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:43,033 And I shall be back in a minute, all right? 219 00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:44,133 All right. 220 00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:48,733 This is him. 221 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,833 Are you Ms. Courtney? 222 00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:58,033 Do I look like Ms. Courtney? 223 00:08:58,133 --> 00:08:59,633 Well, I asked to see Ms. Courtney. 224 00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:01,100 Ah, well, who are you? 225 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,633 My name's Fo-- 226 00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:03,600 Forbes Fortescue. 227 00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:05,567 Pardon? 228 00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:08,067 Fo-- Forbes Fortescue. 229 00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:09,600 Oh, Jeremy Bro-- 230 00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:12,367 Bro-- Brown. 231 00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:14,200 I am an ATC. 232 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,267 I am a BA, Oxford. 233 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:18,933 My card. 234 00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:20,233 Ah. 235 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,667 Oh, you are an ATC, an Assistant Town Clerk. 236 00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,400 - Quite so. - Ah, I see. 237 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,700 Ah, Ms. Courtney. 238 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,067 Mr. Brown, is this another of your foreign students? 239 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,467 No, he's an ATC. 240 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,367 I don't care what nationality he is. 241 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:33,567 It's time you were in the classroom. 242 00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:34,967 Madam, my name is Fo-- 243 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:37,933 Forbes Fortescue. 244 00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:39,400 He's hyphenated. 245 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,900 How unfortunate. 246 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,400 I am here from the town hall. 247 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,800 We have some news from the palace. 248 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,600 Victoria or Crystal? 249 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:51,967 Buckingham, I'm here in connection with the, uh, 250 00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:54,400 ro-- ro-- royal visit to the borough next week. 251 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:57,300 And as the duke himself laid the foundation stone 252 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,033 of this building, it has been suggested 253 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,233 that Her Majesty and His Royal Highness 254 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,233 pay a brief, informal visit to the school. 255 00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,467 The queen and Prince Phillip coming here? 256 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:06,300 Next Tuesday. 257 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,433 Did you here that, Mr. Brown? 258 00:10:07,533 --> 00:10:09,267 They're coming here, the two of them, 259 00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,767 together, in person, here, him and her, together, in person. 260 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:14,167 Well, calm down, Ms. Courtney. Don't overexcite yourself. 261 00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:15,667 Oh, who's getting overexcited? 262 00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:17,967 I'm-- I mean, I'm perfectly calm about the whole thing. 263 00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:20,533 Oh. 264 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,433 I have seen some strange things on toilet doors-- 265 00:10:36,533 --> 00:10:40,067 bucks and does, um, uh, lads and lasses, setters and pointers. 266 00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:42,100 But I have never seen dukes and queens. 267 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,833 Oh, it's not for them to use. 268 00:10:43,933 --> 00:10:44,967 Well, what's it for? 269 00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:46,967 Well, it's Ms. Courtney's idea. 270 00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:48,533 You see, she didn't want to offend 271 00:10:48,633 --> 00:10:52,133 the royal family by letting them see toilet doors. 272 00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,167 So I've done the best thing. 273 00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:54,133 I've discovered them. 274 00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:55,633 Oh, well, very diplomatic. 275 00:10:55,733 --> 00:10:58,467 Mind you, what a waste of time it is, though, Mr. Brown. 276 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:00,733 They must have loos in Buckingham Palace. 277 00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:03,667 Well, absolutely, is the old battleaxe in yet? 278 00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:06,833 The old battleaxe is here. 279 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,567 Well, I wasn't meaning you, Ms. Courtney. 280 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:11,067 Well, I trust you were not referring to Her Majesty. 281 00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:12,600 Oh, no, no, no, I was referring 282 00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:13,667 to Gladys, the tea lady. 283 00:11:13,767 --> 00:11:16,400 Oh, here. 284 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,600 What's this for? 285 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,600 Well, it is not for sticking in your buttonhole. 286 00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:25,133 It is to wave at the royal personages. 287 00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:26,900 Are you going to change? 288 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,133 Into what? 289 00:11:28,233 --> 00:11:30,000 Well, you surely don't intend to greet 290 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,633 our distinguished guests in that jacket. 291 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,133 Haven't you anything a little more formal? 292 00:11:34,233 --> 00:11:36,767 I've got a black tie I wear for funerals. 293 00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:39,700 Here. 294 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,100 Well, that's better. 295 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,767 I feel as if I'm going to a cup final. 296 00:11:43,867 --> 00:11:44,700 Sidney? 297 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,700 Hmm? 298 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:46,933 Go and sweep the schoolyard. 299 00:11:47,033 --> 00:11:48,800 I swept it up once. 300 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:50,567 Well, sweep it again. 301 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,600 You wouldn't like me to go down on me hands and knees 302 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,100 and scrub it, would you? 303 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,133 Don't be ridiculous. 304 00:11:56,233 --> 00:11:57,567 It wouldn't dry before they arrive. 305 00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:05,033 I think I'll go and polish the silver. 306 00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:06,333 What silver? 307 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:08,133 Well, I brought my silver tea set, in case 308 00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:09,500 they wanted a drink. 309 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,233 Oh, perhaps the duke would prefer a tot of rum, 310 00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,533 being an ex-naval man. 311 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,133 Oh, dear, I hadn't thought of that. 312 00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:17,300 Oh, well, he'll just have to make do with sherry. 313 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,233 Shall I ask Gladys to make up a couple of ham rolls, 314 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:20,467 in case they feel a bit peckish? 315 00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:23,333 Ham rolls? 316 00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:27,667 You can't give royalty ham rolls. 317 00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:29,167 This is a very special occasion. 318 00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:32,767 Tell her to open a tin of salmon. 319 00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,267 They won't want anything to eat. 320 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,733 It is better to be prepared. 321 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:40,933 Oh, I wonder if we should have got a red carpet. 322 00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:42,133 Look. 323 00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:43,667 Why don't you go the whole hog and ask 324 00:12:43,767 --> 00:12:45,200 the music class to play the national anthem as they enter? 325 00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,333 This is supposed to be an informal visit. 326 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,633 I don't think you are approaching 327 00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,200 this special occasion in the right attitude. 328 00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,767 Well, I think you're being carried away. 329 00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:55,733 Nonsense, this is an opportunity for all the staff 330 00:12:55,833 --> 00:12:57,100 and students to show their loyalty 331 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,167 and devotion to our sovereigns. 332 00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:02,067 It's up to the entire school to make a good impression. 333 00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:04,133 One never knows where it may lead. 334 00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,500 The new year's honors list isn't far away. 335 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,633 Honors list? 336 00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:10,700 Yes, a knighthood could be within your grasp. 337 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:11,700 A knighthood? 338 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,467 Mr. Jeremy Brown. 339 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:36,133 Arise, Sir Jeremy. 340 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:43,800 Mr. Brown? 341 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:44,933 Yes, your majesty? 342 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,067 I beg your pardon. 343 00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:47,233 Oh, I thought you were the queen. 344 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,167 Have you been drinking? 345 00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:49,600 No, just daydreaming. 346 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:51,033 Well, you had better wake up. 347 00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,767 They are due to arrive in half an hour. 348 00:13:52,867 --> 00:13:54,000 Now where are your students? 349 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,267 Uh, they're in the cloakroom, changing. 350 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:56,533 Changing? 351 00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:59,767 Yes, they insisted on wearing their national costumes. 352 00:13:59,867 --> 00:14:01,033 Gladys? 353 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,600 Gladys, are you there? 354 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:03,533 What? 355 00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:09,200 Oh, blimey, rule Britannia. 356 00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,467 What, don't you like it? 357 00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:11,467 Do what? 358 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:12,900 Don't you like it? 359 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,267 Very patriotic, I don't know whether to salute 360 00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:18,700 you or run you up the flagpole. 361 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,567 I've got a surprise for you. 362 00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:21,733 Yeah? 363 00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:22,667 Look. 364 00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:25,600 Oh, God, no. 365 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:27,133 That will surprise the duke. 366 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,033 Surprise him? 367 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,833 It'll paralyze him. 368 00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:33,533 You're supposed to curtsy, not flash him your underwear. 369 00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:34,733 Any of my stu-- 370 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:35,633 good heavens. 371 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:37,300 Oh, don't speak to her. 372 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,333 She'll flash you her knickers. 373 00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:42,700 Here, they will come up here, won't they? 374 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,400 Oh, yes, I expect so, Gladys. 375 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,533 Oh, I do hope so. 376 00:14:45,633 --> 00:14:48,367 I think Prince Philip's lovely, and I've 377 00:14:48,467 --> 00:14:50,133 always been fond of sailors. 378 00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:51,700 Hey, don't forget. 379 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,133 He belongs to the queen. 380 00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:55,100 Yeah, have you seen any of my students? 381 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,600 They're still changing. 382 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,067 Ah, well, go and tell them to hurry up, Sid, will you? 383 00:14:58,167 --> 00:14:59,333 All right, yeah, I'll go. 384 00:14:59,433 --> 00:15:01,400 Yeah, and I'd better get tidied up, too. 385 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:05,133 The duke might want to inspect the utensils. 386 00:15:05,233 --> 00:15:06,433 I think this looks better on you. 387 00:15:10,533 --> 00:15:13,533 All ready for your inspection, sir. 388 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:14,967 Carry on, Sid. 389 00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,067 Ms. China. 390 00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:23,233 Is that your national costume? 391 00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:25,800 This is uniform of People's Army of Liberation, 392 00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,600 as prescribed by Chairman Mao. 393 00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:28,800 Do you not like it? 394 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,300 Well, I think it lacks a certain, uh, 395 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,067 finish, a belt of ammunition, a couple of hand grenades. 396 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,067 Ms. India. 397 00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:40,100 Oh, very nice, Jamila. 398 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,267 It is Jamila, isn't it? 399 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,500 Yes. 400 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,433 Ms. Germany. 401 00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:48,900 - What you think? - Very Teutonic. 402 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,300 Danke. 403 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,200 Ms. Sweden. 404 00:15:57,733 --> 00:15:58,967 Beautiful, yes? 405 00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:00,467 Beautiful, very. 406 00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:01,467 And the clothes, too? 407 00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:02,833 Well, I was referring to the clothes. 408 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:03,733 Ms. France. 409 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:09,700 What do you think? 410 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,400 Ms. Greece. 411 00:16:32,933 --> 00:16:34,267 Well, don't take the Mick. 412 00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:37,100 Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Greece. 413 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,167 Are you comfortable in that, Max? 414 00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:46,267 It's a bit cold, boss. 415 00:16:46,367 --> 00:16:47,400 Mr. Pakistani. 416 00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:53,200 God bless Queen Elizabeth, and not 417 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,700 forgetting the Duke of Edinbug. 418 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,567 Duke of Edinburgh. 419 00:16:58,667 --> 00:16:59,533 Him also. 420 00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:00,433 Mr. Italy. 421 00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:14,567 Are you representing Italy or the Mafia? 422 00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:25,400 I represent Sicily. 423 00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:29,633 Mr. Punjab. 424 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,067 Oh, most endearing, Ranjeet. 425 00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:37,000 Thank you very much. 426 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:37,967 Mr. Hungary. 427 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:44,767 Very good, Zoltan. 428 00:17:44,867 --> 00:17:45,767 Thank you. 429 00:17:45,867 --> 00:17:46,667 Mr. Japan. 430 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:51,833 Nanki-Poo, I presume? 431 00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,667 Ah, so. 432 00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:57,900 And last but not least, Mr. Spain. 433 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:58,800 Ole. 434 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:09,633 Ah, Professori, there's still nobody coming. 435 00:18:09,733 --> 00:18:10,567 Well, any minute now. 436 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:11,300 Come on. 437 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,733 In your places, everyone. 438 00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:14,000 Um, where's Zoltan? 439 00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:16,600 Ah, he's gone to try and find the toilet. 440 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,700 Ah, well, that may take him a while. 441 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:25,033 And I'd like to stress that this visit is informal, 442 00:18:25,133 --> 00:18:26,700 so that Her Majesty may not necessarily 443 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,867 come into this classroom. 444 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,300 Yeah, well, you mustn't be too disappointed if she doesn't. 445 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,233 But if she does, I want you all to behave 446 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,633 just as if she weren't here. 447 00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:38,000 Understand? 448 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,367 In view of the occasion, it would 449 00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:40,700 seem appropriate to tell you a little 450 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,433 of the history of our British kings and queens. 451 00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:46,267 Now it all started with the Norman conquest. 452 00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,000 I have seen that on the telewision, 453 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:49,633 wery funny English play. 454 00:18:49,733 --> 00:18:52,967 Yes, I am referring to the actual invasion of England 455 00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:54,500 by William of Normandy. 456 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,633 It was 1066. 457 00:18:55,733 --> 00:18:56,900 Wrong. 458 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,100 I beg your pardon? 459 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:09,133 Ten sickity-six, maybe, uh, 1056. 460 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:11,500 It was 1066. 461 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:17,100 No, cannot be, ten sickity-six, 60 minute, 1 hour. 462 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:24,133 Ten sickity-six, 6 minute past 11. 463 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:30,167 1066 was the year. 464 00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:31,400 It's all right. 465 00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:32,400 Right. 466 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,033 Now William of Normandy, by the way, 467 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,433 does anybody know what other name he was known by, 468 00:19:40,533 --> 00:19:41,633 William the? 469 00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:42,533 Corn curer. 470 00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,833 Conqueror. 471 00:19:46,933 --> 00:19:48,533 OK. 472 00:19:48,633 --> 00:19:50,733 Now he was succeeded by his third son, 473 00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:53,233 William Rufus, the Red King. 474 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:57,467 Oh, blimey, you are having a communist king? 475 00:19:57,567 --> 00:20:01,700 No, no, he was called the Red King because of his red hair. 476 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,367 Jolly good. 477 00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:06,333 Now William Rufus died in 1100 after being struck 478 00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:08,133 by an arrow in the woods. 479 00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:11,333 Hey, maybe it was Robin the Hood. 480 00:20:14,867 --> 00:20:17,700 No, Robin the Hood wasn't-- 481 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,700 Robin Hood wasn't born then. 482 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,267 He was in the Middle Ages. 483 00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:26,533 How can he be middle aged if he's not yet been born? 484 00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:28,833 Never mind about Robin Hood, all right? 485 00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:31,867 Oh, yes, very colorful. 486 00:20:31,967 --> 00:20:33,567 Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Brown, but they 487 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:34,933 will be here any moment now. 488 00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:36,733 And I thought it would be rather nice if one of your students 489 00:20:36,833 --> 00:20:38,333 were to present this to Her Majesty. 490 00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:39,967 Hmm. 491 00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:41,800 I'll do that. 492 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:45,033 It is usual for a bouquet to be presented by a lady. 493 00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:49,267 With that skirt, who's a-gonna know the difference? 494 00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:50,667 Come outside, and I'll show you. 495 00:20:50,767 --> 00:20:51,700 Yeah, all right, that will do. 496 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:52,967 Sit down. 497 00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:55,600 Now, uh, who do you suggest, Ms. Courtney? 498 00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:56,900 Well, how about Jamila? 499 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,033 Yes. 500 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,867 Jamila, dear, will you come here? 501 00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:05,867 And for goodness' sake, girl, get rid of that knitting. 502 00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:09,033 Now then, Jamilla, I want you to wait with me in the hall 503 00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:10,700 until their majesties arrive, and then you 504 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,100 can present this to the queen. 505 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,167 You curtsy first, and then you give it to her. 506 00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:16,033 Now let's try that. 507 00:21:16,133 --> 00:21:17,533 I am the queen. 508 00:21:19,733 --> 00:21:21,300 You are queen, Courtney? 509 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,500 No, no, no, Jamila, come on. 510 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,967 She's just pretending. 511 00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:26,533 Oh, ah, I am understand. 512 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,833 Here you are, Quenie. 513 00:21:34,933 --> 00:21:37,133 You do not speak until you are spoken to, 514 00:21:37,233 --> 00:21:38,700 and then you address her as ma'am. 515 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:39,633 Now let's try again. 516 00:21:43,133 --> 00:21:44,167 Ah, there you are. 517 00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:46,200 Ah, ah, uh, Superintendent, how soon 518 00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:47,867 will the royal couple be here? 519 00:21:47,967 --> 00:21:48,800 They are not coming. 520 00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:50,133 What? 521 00:21:50,233 --> 00:21:51,733 We've had to rearrange her schedule. 522 00:21:51,833 --> 00:21:53,300 Oh. 523 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,633 They are going straight from the hospital to the town hall. 524 00:21:54,733 --> 00:21:56,200 We're cutting out the visit to the school. 525 00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:57,800 Well, I'd better go and tell Ms. Courtney. 526 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:58,700 There isn't time. 527 00:21:58,800 --> 00:21:59,800 You must come with me now. 528 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:00,700 You men, follow me. 529 00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,867 Excuse me. 530 00:22:07,967 --> 00:22:09,500 Please? 531 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,433 My name is Mrs. Baxter. 532 00:22:12,567 --> 00:22:16,200 My name is Mrs. Baxter. 533 00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:21,633 And my husband has just joined your woodwork class. 534 00:22:21,733 --> 00:22:24,700 Do you think I could have a word with him? 535 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,067 Uh, uh, hey, Sid. 536 00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:29,000 No, you can't! 537 00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:29,900 Sid, Sid-- 538 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,900 No-- God, blimey. 539 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,000 It's her. 540 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,233 Hang on. Hang on. 541 00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:39,967 Hang on. 542 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,967 Don't go away. 543 00:22:42,067 --> 00:22:43,133 Try it again, and this time-- 544 00:22:43,233 --> 00:22:45,000 Ms. Courtney, Mr. Brown, she's here. 545 00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:46,033 She's arrived. 546 00:22:46,133 --> 00:22:47,700 She's outside. - She can't be. 547 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,433 She must have come in by the back entrance. 548 00:22:49,533 --> 00:22:52,333 Well, don't leave her standing outside, Sidney, Show her in. 549 00:22:52,433 --> 00:22:53,267 Yes. 550 00:23:04,333 --> 00:23:07,033 So pleased to meet you, ma'am. 551 00:23:07,133 --> 00:23:09,833 Uh, where is your husband? 552 00:23:09,933 --> 00:23:13,433 He's in the woodwork class. 553 00:23:13,533 --> 00:23:16,500 Well, I do hope we shall have the pleasure 554 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,533 of meeting him later on. 555 00:23:18,633 --> 00:23:22,533 This is Mr. Brown, our English teacher. 556 00:23:22,633 --> 00:23:23,533 How do you do? 557 00:23:23,633 --> 00:23:24,433 Ma'am. 558 00:23:25,867 --> 00:23:26,700 Jamila. 559 00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:37,000 Mm, ma'am. 560 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,133 Oh, how kind. 561 00:23:57,267 --> 00:24:00,067 And in this class, we are endeavoring to teach 562 00:24:00,167 --> 00:24:03,000 English to foreign students. 563 00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:04,033 Excuse me, Ms. Courtney. 564 00:24:04,133 --> 00:24:05,300 Don't interrupt, Mr. Brown. 565 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:06,000 Yeah, well, I think you should know that-- 566 00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:06,967 Mr. Brown. 567 00:24:07,067 --> 00:24:08,033 All right, please yourself. 568 00:24:08,133 --> 00:24:09,967 Would you care for a cup of tea? 569 00:24:10,067 --> 00:24:11,300 If it's not too much trouble. 570 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,833 Oh, it's no trouble at all. 571 00:24:13,933 --> 00:24:17,767 You must come round and have a cup of tea with my husband 572 00:24:17,867 --> 00:24:19,000 and I sometime.